Things That Make You Go "Hmmm"

I was browsing and noticed this on a site...thought I would share:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(but thats the best time!)

On a bag of Fritos: ... You could be a winner No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(but thats just the 'suggestion')

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): Do not turn upside down.
(a bit late, huh)

On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
(I hope so)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
(but wouldn't this save more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(why else would you be taking this??)

On most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only.
(as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts.
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(riiight...)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(thats sad...it's the sound of small hearts breaking)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
(its scary to think of how this warning came to exsist)

That's all for now...I got a giggle, hope you did too.

Avenue Q

I wish that I could go to NY to see the musical Avenue Q! Has everyone heard of this? I just ordered the CD and the show seems like it would be hilarious.

This show seems like an adult Sesame Street with characters like Bert and Ernie(Rod and Nicky), Cookie Monster (Trekkie Monster) and various other puppets..along with a couple of human actors (including a Gary Coleman character).

The show starts with a journey of Princeton, who just got a BA in English and realizes that he can't get a job with his new degree. He can only afford to live on Avenue Q with other people hopefuls including an Brian (human, unemployed comedian) and his fiance, Christmas Eve (human, the Japanese therepist that has no clients) Rod and Nicky, the bickering roommates (puppets, one of which is suspected to be gay), Kate Monster (puppet, a kindergarden instructor looking to open a School for Monsters), Gary Coleman (human, played by a woman, he is the building's superintendent) and the porn addicted Trekkie Monster (puppet).

Just by looking at the song titles one can tell that you are not on Sesame Street anymore such as: It Sucks To Be Me, If You Were Gay, Everyone's A Little Bit Racist, The Internet Is For Porn, I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today,and You Can Be As Loud As The Hell You Want When You're Making Love. There are also cute songs such as: Mix Tape and Fantasies Come True

All of the songs are funny and I definately reccomend this to those who won't get easily offended. There are cuss words in a lot of the songs that can catch you off guard so be warned.

A Few Funny Lyrics:

*Everyone's A Little Bit Racist*

Everyone's a little bit racist sometimes. Doesn't mean we go around committing hate crimes.

and

Everyone's a little bit racist It's true. But everyone is just about as racist as you!
If we all could just admit that we are racist a little bit,and everyone stopped being so PC maybe we could live in Harmony!

*Mix Tape*

Kate Monster:
A mix tape. He made a mix tape. He was thinking of me, which shows he cares!
Sometimes when someone has a crush on you they'll make you a mix tape to give you a clue.
Let's see..."You've Got A Friend", "The Theme From 'Friends'", "That's What Friends Are For." SH^T!!!

*I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today*

Brian: No im not wearing underwear today!
Not that you probably care much about my underwear
Still none the less i gotta say that im not wearing underwear today!
(applause)
Christmas Eve: Getta Job!
Brian: Thank you..honey?

*For Now*

Sex!Is only for now!
Your hair! Is only for now!
George Bush! Is only for now!
Don't stress, Relax, Let life roll off your backs
Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now!

My Immortal

There are events in life that make me think about my mortality. If I were to die tomorrow, would I look back and say, "There was nothing else that I could have done. My life was everything I wanted it to be." or would I look back with that horrible thing called regret?

But aside from my mortality, I also think about my friends and family. If they were to pass, would I look back and say, "They knew I loved them" or would I be left with regret over our relationship. Would thoughts haunt me that I never told them all that I wanted to or I didn't tell them that they were important to me? Would I have loose ends with them? Were we on good terms?

I have this thing where I hate to leave someone when I am mad and I hate it when someone leaves me while they are mad.If something were to happen I don't want a life of regret nor do I want that for my friends.

In my life I feel that so far, with what I have been given, I am doing the best that I can. I am still not completely satisified, but I am happy with what I have done thus far. Thinking back there are things I could regret and mull over, but those things are what made me who I am today. When I do make my final journey, I think that I will be able to look back and think, "My life was filled all that I wanted, not material things but love. I am happy with my decisions."

Life can change in an instant. One moment you are here and the next you aren't. Sometimes we take life for granted during all of our busy days. We also take those we love for granted sometimes. It is important to keep in mind how much they mean to you and to let them know too. We may be mortal, but our love can live on and be passed along.

One Nation Under God...

This is a touchy subject for most. Even those who feel that there should be no religion in the government are torn by this. The irony is in that line itself "One nation, under God, indivisible." Indivisible. This three letter word has divided us from the begining. God...the one who is supposed to unite us all...

Although I am attached to our Pledge of Allegiance, my opinion is to change it. If we are going to make everyone feel welcome we should. Not everyone believes in God or feels comfortable with that phrase. I've heard the argument that they don't need to say it. But this is thier country too. They should not be separated from everyone, they are Americans too. I've also heard the argument of tradition. Well, sometimes traditions need to change. This is true of everything. It used to be tradition to have slaves.

I believe that religion should be separate from the government. I don't want them telling me what they think I should believe. Who I can marry. (I'll save that for another posting)

Anyway, I think we should change it. Just take out that part and make it "One nation, indivisible"...I know it will take forever if they decide to do it. And if they decided to I will actually be surprised because it would be an unpopular thing to do...but I still think it needs to be done.

P.S. These are my opinions...Someone let me know if I sound like an idiot with these postings! I am typing as I think.

The World Is Topsy Turvy: A Rant

There are times when I sit back and contemplate the messy state that the world (maybe just the US) is in. We, as a people, have some of our priorities twisted around.

Imagine that we live in a world where suddenly all of the school teachers and college professors disappeared from the world. There is no way to get them back or replace them! What would happen? Who would teach the doctors? Who would teach our children to read and ::gasp:: sex ed? Parents you say? Yeah right. Now imagine a world where all of the professional atheletes and actors/actresses disappeared.

I'm sure that there would be a difference in both of these worlds, we like to be entertained and we crave knowledge. However, which do you think would be a more profound change?
The answer is obvious to me. We need our teachers. This is a very under appreciated profession. No person decides to go into teaching for the great pay...but why shouldn't they get paid more. Their pay isn't horrible but let's compare a teachers salary to a professional atheletes salary. There is no comparison.

Why is it that a respected position as educator isn't given it's proper due? I am not saying that they need to be paid as much as professional atheletes, that is ridiculous. But when there is a position where one can shape and touch so many lives compared to some atheletes who would never give anyone the time of day because they are 'better' than everyone else, how can we be okay with that? How did it come to this? How did we let it happen? Anyway...I hope part of that made sense.

Let me know what you think (not about it making sense part, about the whole teacher thing)

YAY

I HAVE GMAIL! I HAVE GMAIL!....now what? Well, it's still exciting to me...who says you don't need 3 email addresses? It used to be 4 but I deleted one of my Yahoo emails...due to the fact that I was only getting Spam about my breast and penis that are apparently too small.

Any-who I just wanted to let you all know of my small triumph of the day. I have been waiting all day for my invite from someone and things got so busy that they forgot me...but luckily Jenny got another invite and used it on me! Yippee.

Thats all for now.

PS. Thank you Jenny!

Gmail

Here is my first actual post. I am excited! I am going to be getting an invite for Gmail! Not only will I not have to delete any of my emails (I usually keep everything someone sends me...just in case I need to use it against them)but it just looks really cool. I can't wait. As most of you know, I am a Googling Machine...so I am looking forward to Gmail! I guess that people were buying invites for up to $100 on Ebay...but now they've dropped to $60. I love Google, but not enough to buy an invite.

New To The Blog World

Here it is...what you've all been waiting for: My Blog. Okay, well maybe you haven't been waiting for it...but still here it is. I am not copying Laura...I insist. I just discovered that this is through Google. I love Google, so now I MUST have a Blogger blog. I am not sure what I will post about or how often I will, but I will try to update often...depending on response from you people. Any ideas what I should blog about?